The little joys I find in living free

In my entire 62 years, I have never consumed one of those big gulp, giant sized sodas. The idea that I could drink 32, 44, 64 ounces of soda at one time is, for me, unimaginable. In fact, in the past six years, I’ve not consumed any soda. Don’t wrongly assume that I’m some kind of health nut. Those of you who know me personally will confirm that is not the case. My choice is purely personal preference. If I want something cold, it’s generally water, sometimes tea, but usually bottled water. Bottled water, now that’s a subject to consider for some other time. Water, that’s my drink of CHOICE. If I want something hot, it depends on where I am. If I’m at home, I’ll likely be drinking coffee. If I’m at school, I’ll likely be drinking hot tea. I am flexible and I like being able to choose for myself.

New York City Mayor Bloomberg has never shied away any opportunity for foisting and, whenever possible, legislating his views onto anyone within his own, self-defined realm. In the world of firearms, he considers the world his oyster and essentially blames any and all violence within the confines of New York City on some little mom and pop gun shop located in Rural, Anystate (except NY.) In the debate words of Ronald Reagan, “well, there you go again,” Bloomberg has out Bloomberged himself this time by proposing a ban on the sale of any sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces. That is the essence of HIS proposal to solve the obesity problem in New York City. What on earth is he drinking?

Now I’m just a country boy from the south, probably not nearly as smart and sophisticated as someone from New York City, but where I come from, such a foolish idea would forever doom one to ridicule, much like Ollie, once known as the fence builder. (Some readers may know the story of “just one goat” Ollie.) Rosie O’Donnell’s spoon better watch out because, the next thing you know, the great OZ of NYC will be banning it. Woe be unto any New York City student wanting to purchase a pencil because pencil bans will likely follow. After all, they are the culprit in forcing students to mispell (yeah, I know) words.

What’s wrong with his proposal? Well, in my opinion, only about a million things. Here are some things I’d put on the list.

1. Ain’t nobody’s business if I do! (great book, by the way)

Who appointed these nannies to decide for me? I certainly did not. I don’t want them. I don’t need them. I can’t use them. This proposal is at the center of nunya. Nunyabidness.

2. Only an idiot would think that banning larger than 16 oz sugary drinks would accomplish anything other than proving the proposer to be fool. Bloomberg continues to shoot himself in the foot and that’s tough under New York City gun laws (wonder if he’s exempt.)

.  .  .

258,644. The most common outcome of having the government involved in personal choices is to assure that individuals shirk their personal responsibility for their choices and keep a handy scapegoat for the results of their poor choices. In the unlikely event that the US citizenry woke up one day and everyone assumed personal responsibility for their own actions and choices, the first thing that would likely happen is that 92.4% of all politicos would be run out of country on a rail. In today’s entitlement world, I see little risk of that outcome.

954,266. How is somebody going to drive their car now that will take two hands, instead of one, to get their 32 oz of buzz? But, maybe people won’t manage the mathematics of two 16s equals one 32. After all, statistics prove that 4 out of every 3 people in the US don’t understand fractions.

1,000,000. Sales of Colt 45 in 40 oz may plummet due to the risk of a double ban. The reference to any firearm is sufficient for Bloomberg and the size, well it matters. No, wait, these type drinks are not on his hit list. Never mind.

And speaking of rail (reason #258,644), I’ll put an end to my railing and just out of protest and solidarity with the oppressed citizenry of NYC, I might stroll down to the 7 Eleven and order up a 55 gallon drum of Mountain Dew. Monster sugar buzz mixed with caffeine, yep, that oughta do it.

In the south, we can usually find a silver lining around any old pile of crap. Here’s what I found today. Even idiots can become multi-gazzillionsires.

Till next time,

The Doc


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